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Sunday, 11 September 2011

The Biggest Douche in the Universe

My Friends,
   This weekend I feasted like a king; wedding on Friday night at Hamilton Golf & Country Club, dinner at home Saturday and barbecue at Grandma's today.  I only mention such opulent dining because this weekend may in fact be the last series of good meals I have for a while.  So I partook in the fashion of one partaking of his last meal.
  It is now ten days until I leave to circumnavigate the globe.  I am excited to be sure but also apprehensive; as confident as I am in my skill in travel, anything can happen and although I have been away 6 months before (Afghanistan), this time I will be alone.  In fact, more than starvation, thirst and threats to my safety, I am concerned with how I will hold up alone for so long.  Even though I will meet a ton of people, they will only be around temporarily.  My previous solo travelling experience has taught me that in spite of all the benefits of travelling by yourself, you never feel so acutely alone as when the sun begins to set and everyone starts heading home, leaving you alone in the darkening world.
   In regards to the title of this post, I have been cramming lately; I have been trying to average at least two episodes of The Wire a day so that I can finish the series by my departure date.  It is going well as I have located a site which allows me to stream the show for free.  The rub is that I must endure pop-up advertisements and sound recordings for every link I click.  Chief among these ads for sheer annoyance is this one:


MacKeeper for Mac OS.  Now I'm not sure if its only mac users who have to endure this ad (although I can imagine it would be doubly annoying for PC users), but for the uninitiated, allow me to direct your attention to the douche in the bottom-right


Worse than a pop-up is a pop-up that talks to me.  Worse still is a pop-up that talks to me when I am trying to catch every bit of witty dialogue I have come to expect from an HBO original series.  So by virtue of those three strikes I have to nominate this guy for BDITU (Biggest Douche in the Universe).  I mean honestly, I know it was probably a paid gig for him, but what amount of money can soften the knowledge that you are probably one of the most hated men on the internets.  I hope he is also a Mac user who streams programs illegally and is made to endure his own douche face as punishment for his crimes.
   The barefoot training is going well.  My feet are getting more resilient every day.  I have a little soreness in my foot bones from overdoing the running on the balls of my feet, but I am confident that will go away as my severely atrophied foot muscles strengthen.  Whatever foot discomfort I must endure, I view it as a necessary inconvenience; in rebuilding my body from the ground up it only makes sense that I have to start with the foundation.
Stay Thirsty
-Andre Guantanamo

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